Cancer, Coffee, Conversations

I have been on this cancer journey for five months. All at once that seems like forever and the blink of an eye. How much life has changed; how much it has stayed the same. How much I have changed; how much I have stayed the same.

Let me tell you this: cancer does not stop you from yelling at your kids, it does not suddenly make you more gracious towards dirty dishes in the sink or toilet seats being left up.  It has, however, left me with a profound respect for today and all that it has to offer – both the blessings and the not so pretty.

Cancer has made me stop in my tracks and also long to see the future. It has forced me to ask for and accept help – help that has been far more generous than I deserve. Angels I have met in the forms of friends, family, medical staff and strangers.

Cancer has helped me cut through the stuff of life and see who and what I want to be. Yes, I still yell at my kids. I never said cancer made me perfect :).

Cancer has forced me to give up a lot and say no to a lot. This has produced the ego stomping knowledge that life can and does and should go on without me.  To balance this, I have so many people reminding me I am loved and I matter and that they are praying.

I am currently on a leave of absence from work, which along with providing me some much needed rest will hopefully give me some time to blog and write and chronicle my journey.

Thanks for letting me share some thoughts.  Smiles!

God is good. All the time. Period.

It is Well with My Soul

wellwithmysoul

Today is a hard day, friends. In a few short weeks, my family and I should have welcomed a new baby boy into our family. Instead, he arrived early and still on February 13th at 20 weeks. This heart wrenching reality will walk along side a friend who will receive earth shattering news today. It will keep good company with friends who are battling cancer, multiple miscarriages, anxiety, depression, loss and despair. As I stare into the bleakness, it is easy to allow hopelessness to overwhelm. There are a few truths I am clinging to with desperation. None of them belong to me, but I cherish each one.
~ God is good. All the time. Period.
~ God is good and He is good at being God.
~ The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
Finally, verses from two of my favorite hymn:
“To the old rugged Cross, I will ever be true
Its shame and reproach gladly bear
Then He’ll call me some day to my home far away
Where his glory forever I’ll share
So I’ll cherish the old rugged Cross
Till my trophies at last I lay down
I will cling to the old rugged Cross
And exchange it some day for a crown”
And:
“When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll
Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say
It is well, it is well, with my soul
It is well
With my soul
It is well, it is well with my soul
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul
It is well (it is well)
With my soul (with my soul)
It is well, it is well with my soul”

New Directions

Reflections

While there was nothing wrong with my original intentions for this blog, God has laid other plans on my heart.  This post is a bit long, but encompasses the vision going forward.

Reflections: Refresh, Equip, Restore

2 Samuel 22:29-31 (ESV) “For you are my lamp, O Lord, and my God lightens my darkness. For by you I can run against a troop, and by my God I can leap over a wall.
This God—his way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.”

Webster defines a reflection as the act of casting back a light or heat, mirroring, or giving back or showing an image. Many questions arise in my mind as I ponder this one word.

  • Am I an accurate reflection of God?
  • Do I spend time reflecting deeply on the truth of the Bible?
  • Do I see myself as God sees me?
  • Does my prayer life reflect the faith and power and life that God is calling me to?

Sometimes I know the answers to these questions.  At other times, the light is dim and the reflections are mere shadows, fleeting and untrustworthy.

In our chaotic lives, in MY chaotic life, how do I pause and be still? Reflections come in stillness, for if you disturb the water the reflection becomes distorted and disappears.

In my search for answers, I have come to three words: Refresh, Equip, Restore.

I, and women everywhere, need these three things.

  • Refresh: we all need our spirits refreshed.  We need the waters of Eternal Life to fill us and our parched and weary souls need to drink daily.
  • Equip: Each one of us needs to be equipped in the Word, in Prayer and in how to live out the gifts and callings He has given us.
  • Restore: We are all called OUT… to restore the lost, the broken, the sick, the hurting, the poor.

How do we do this? By traveling a spiral of sorts, through four different areas.

Abiding: We must learn to abide in Jesus.  This is the cornerstone to everything else – it affects how we live, how we love and how we serve.

Going: We were commanded to go. How do we share Jesus with others? What is your story, your testimony?

Multiply: Sharing Jesus with others is so important; discipling a person in the ways of Jesus is essential.

Walking: Isaiah 58:6-11 sums this up far better than I ever could.

“Is not this the fast that I choose:
to loose the bonds of wickedness,
to undo the straps of the yoke,
to let the oppressed[b] go free,
and to break every yoke?
Is it not to share your bread with the hungry
and bring the homeless poor into your house;
when you see the naked, to cover him,
and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?
Then shall your light break forth like the dawn,
and your healing shall spring up speedily;
your righteousness shall go before you;
the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.
Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer;
you shall cry, and he will say, ‘Here I am.’
If you take away the yoke from your midst,
the pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness,
if you pour yourself out for the hungry
and satisfy the desire of the afflicted,
then shall your light rise in the darkness
and your gloom be as the noonday.
And the Lord will guide you continually
and satisfy your desire in scorched places
and make your bones strong;
and you shall be like a watered garden,
like a spring of water,
whose waters do not fail.”

** Photo not mine, credit not available.

Family Rules

There are a lot of beautiful signs out there (I love Etsy if you hadn’t picked up on that!) that list the rules of a family.  I wanted to create my own rules based on Scripture.  Here is what I came up with:

Love mercy. Act justly. Walk humbly.

Rejoice always. Pray continually. Give thanks.

Love God.  Love His Word.  Love His people.

Choose joy. Live simply. Drink coffee.

(I am not sure Scripture has anything to say about coffee, so I may have added that one in there 🙂 )

Work in Progress

Hi girlfriend!

There is an article working its way around Facebook that discusses all the great ways to introduce yourself to people.  Putting yourself out there, saying hello, hoping you aren’t ignored – it can all be a bit nerve wracking can’t it?  So here goes… this is a little bit about me.  Then it’s your turn.  🙂

I am a lover of words, coffee, horses, nature, and  quiet.  I am a mom to three energetic and crazy kids.  I am a pastor’s wife.  I wish I was braver, quirkier, and more fashionable.

This blog will focus on the 4 Ms of my life right now: Marriage, Motherhood, Ministry, and Me.

Marriage: I have been married for almost 11 years.  There have been highs, lows and in-betweens.  Sharing what we’ve learned and what we are struggling with is what girlfriends are for!

Motherhood: I currently have a 7 year old, 4 year old and 1 year old.  I have A LOT to learn.

Ministry:  What are my gifts?  What is God’s plan for me?  How can I get in a quiet time each day?  Let’s help hold each other accountable and cheer each other on!

Me: We all need a little TLC.  Lets have a girl’s night together!

Well that’s me and my blog.  What about you?  Who are you and what are you all about?  Look forward to getting to know you better!